On Family

Before I begin my discussion (which will probably turn into a rant), I'd like to ask the same question Michael Coren asked the Liberal representative on his show last night, Martha Hall Finley. Her mother stayed at home to raise her and her five siblings.

Do you wish your mother had gone to work and left you in daycare?

Please note, there was the most enormous silence after this. My husband and I laughed. She eventually conceded that her mother had done an excellent job and never answered the question. Coren then said that mothers tend to be good at being mothers.

I started digging through my archives today and found surprisingly little on the urgent need for stay at home mom's and family man dad's. I thought I had written something, but obviously not. Time to address the issue.
I come from a traditional two parent family. So does my husband. There were six kids in my family, five girls and one boy, and four kids in his, two of each. Our immediate families are committed to the idea and practice of a stay at home mom.
I have a Master's degree in Computer Science. Had I not gotten married, I probably would have gone on to get a PhD (there's just something about calling myself Dr. Ruth). As it is, I probably will continue my education at some point in the future, but for the moment it is not my primary goal. I am not cut out for the corporate scene (two summers working at a bank ruined me for that), but if I were, with my skills and education I would have no trouble making an excellent wage. However, making big money is not my life's primary goal. In fact, it's not on my to do list at all.
My husband and I have a daughter. She is nearly three months old and I have decided to remain at home to take care of her. We hope to have more children. In fact, a large family (6+ kids) would be fantastic, albeit expensive. The more kids we have, the greater need there will be for me to remain at home and the greater the pinch there will be on the family wallet. Sending my child to daycare or paying for a live in nanny so I can go out to work, however, would be a tragedy. I would miss all the best parts of her early life. She will only take her first step once. Her first word will only be spoken once.
Sadly, I am the only one of any of the girls I graduated with (and there are precious few women in the computing industry) who has made the decision to stay at home and raise their families. Most opt for the money. My husband and I have decided to make do on his income. Should I manage to pick up contract work that I can do at home that would be wonderful, but my child is undoubtedly my first priority and I am not willing to sacrifice family for the sake of a career. Money, although it makes life more comfortable, cannot replace a child. At the end of your life, it will not give you grandchildren. You cannot walk money down the aisle. You cannot send money off to its first day at school or watch it graduate.
My husband is very much a family man. I became aware of this trait early on when we were dating. Both of his sisters have good sized families, and it was always a treat for me to watch him with his neices and nephews. It made him incredibly attractive, because I was keenly aware of how rare this behaviour is. Although my own father was also a family man, I knew that men of his type were in short supply. The ability to deal well with children is a learned skill, and not everyone is taught. It is more common in our church community of course, but as a percentage of the population, we are only a small group.
In our community, private education or homeschooling is preferred. I can think of many large families with 4+ children who are on a single income, making less than $50k a year and still manage to save $10k+ after taxes to send their childen to the local private school. These people are not up to their eyeballs in debt either. If they can do it on a modest income, then why do you need to abandon your children to daycare in order go out and make the really big money? Why can't you learn to do without the enormous house, SUV and brand name everything? Why is "stuff" more important than your family?
The Liberal plan to improve daycare does nothing for the people who are making a monetary sacrifice for the good of their family. It does nothing for those people who want to make the sacrifice, but due to social pressures do not. I can think of at least one example of someone (my cousin) who would love to permanently stay at home with her two children, but can't due to the pressure to live up to a certain social standard. It takes a lot of effort to balk the system, especially when there is no one encouraging you to do so.
If our future government does not invest in families, what will happen when we have to rely entirely on immigraiton in order for our population to grow? What will happen to the economy? Providing money to families, especially large ones, can only be a good thing for our country. It's an investment, not a waste.